Here’s a few things I need to tell you about BlackBerry’s Z10. You cannot launch a Soyuz rocket from it. You cannot use it to make scrambled eggs with truffle oil. You cannot cut your hair with it. You cannot milk a cow with it. Nor can you milk a rhinoceros with it. You cannot use it to floss your teeth, steer your alpaca or clean your windows with it. You cannot marry 12 wives, using it as your minister. You cannot get it to construct a new mansion for you in the Turks and Caicos Islands. You cannot get it to turn one of your hands into a pair of garden shears. You cannot get it to de-bone a chicken for you in the style of Jacques Pepin. Sadly, another of the things you cannot get it to do is defend you in court on an embezzlement charge. Converse with an intellectual orangutan or an elephant that is walking upon stilts? Marginally impossible.